Still hurting, but a little less

I am still sore. I still have trouble sitting and standing. So I decided to run this morning. I could feel the muscles wobbling in protest, and my time was not as good as before. The temperature was in the mid-80s at 6:30 this morning, and the humidity was super high. I was not using Motion Traxx. I averaged 11:14 min/mi, which is a decline from the other day. But that's OK. Today was Day 2 Week 9. One more day to go and I graduate! My next 5k is on July 3. My legs feel better. I guess working them today helped. I had brunch today with Cherryl and her husband. She said she didn't get off the couch all day Friday because she was in such pain. It made me feel a little better knowing that. Day 3 of foundations is tomorrow at 7:30. I hope we won't do any squats, but I'm pretty sure we will. I may never walk right again.

I never did cast on those socks I talked about the other day. I found out the yarn is not a machine washable yarn, and I don't want to 1) hand wash socks or 2) risk having them felt on my feet. I will rummage through the stash tonight and see if I can find a yarn for my next pair of socks, the ones I'll carry around and work on at home. I did cast on a pair of baby socks yesterday and I finished them today. One of the students aboard the flight from VT-86 that crashed in April was married and his wife is expecting. The wives received an invitation to a baby shower for her. I won't be able to go, as I have to work that afternoon, but I wanted to make a little something for her. I feel bad for her. I can't imaging what it must be like to be married such a short time and see a whole life with your husband and child ahead and then find out he's taken from you in a training accident. That happened with a friend of mine around 8 years ago and it is really sad. So anyway, I thought it was the least I could do to show my support and caring.

Cat paw included for size.

So I have been thinking about Seth Godin's 16 questions. I'd like to share some thoughts with you on a few of them.


2. Are you trying to make a living, make a difference, or leave a legacy?

I want to make a difference. I want to reach people through a craft, make them stretch out of their comfort zones, and realize their potential. I can do it with yarn and projects and hope that it translates across their lives and develops them into more confident people.

3. How will the world be different when you've succeeded?

Most of my clients are women, so I would like to see more confident and empowered women realizing that they should not be afraid to challenge limitations, whether self-imposed or assigned to them by society or others.

4. Is it more important to add new customers or to increase your interactions with existing ones?

Both. In order to grow the business I need to continue to reach new people, yet I need to take care of my current ones.


10. Are you done personally growing, or is this project going to force you to change and develop yourself?

I don't ever want to be done personally growing. That thought scares me! I want to continue to build on the person that I've become and challenge myself to try new and different things. Some I will like, some I won't. Sometimes I'll fail, other times I'll succeed. Bill and I talked a lot about the future when he was here last weekend. One idea that has been developing is to volunteer with the Central Asia Institute building schools in Afghanistan and Pakistan. That would definitely challenge me and force me to grow, and I love the idea of doing something like this with him. We both bring something critical to the table and we'd be an incredible team! It is an exciting possibility. First, however, we need to see how the deployment goes. There is the rosy, idealistic view and the real world. Let's see if they are compatible. Bill may hate the time he spends there and may never want to go back, no matter what.

12. How long can you wait before it feels as though you're succeeding?

This question is difficult for me. I want to succeed immediately. To me, success is defined as the business covering its operating costs, earning enough to grow, pay us back our initial investment, and let me draw a small salary. By this definition, we are not successful. Yet. We've been open a year and a half. That fact alone, at some levels, indicates success! I supposed I should be patient and continue to nurture the shop. If I don't sell it before we leave, I have another year to reach my definition of success.

14. Do you want your customers to know each other (a tribe) or is it better they be anonymous and separate?

I definitely want my customers to know each other. I am trying to develop a community. I would like people to feel comfortable with each other and want to become friends.

15. How close to failure, wipe out and humiliation are you willing to fly? (And while we're on the topic, how open to criticism are you willing to be?)

This question was the hardest for me. Plain and simple: I DO NOT WANT TO FAIL. That said, my definition of fail is different from not meeting my definition of success. My definition of fail is having to pour more of our savings into the shop and never recouping any of it. I don't want to shut the doors when we move, not having sold the business, end up paying off the loan out of our pocket, and try to sell furnishings and inventory piecemeal over the next several years, at a fraction of their worth, just to get rid of them. That would be failure. After some recent slow days I have considered just shutting the doors before the lease renews. Bill says he'll support me no matter what I want to do, and that means the world to me. The other half of the question is that I welcome criticism, as long as it is constructive. Any ideas people have for making the shop better are welcome. It's the "You shouldn't do (this)." with no explanation of why or suggestion of what would be better that drives me crazy.


The shop has not been a lifelong dream for me. When I realized that I wasn't going to find an engineering job here, I started thinking about my options. I could be an unemployed housewife (which some days looks like it would have been the best choice) or take my new business degree and give this town a new yarn shop. I had several experiences at the other shop which were simply horrible. I knew that people should not be treated that way and I could offer that alternative. I feel like I have done that. I can close the doors and not look back with regret (even if I fail like I described above). This has been an incredible opportunity for me, in terms of a learning experience and a chance for personal growth. It has been one of the most satisfying things I have done! I just don't want my experience to cost my family a huge chunk of our savings. That makes me feel selfish. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I am not doing anything to increase savings, I only burn through it. I think that is why I am afraid to fail (my definition). I know that the knowledge and the experience have been worth it, and if Bill knew I felt this way he'd probably try to smack me out of it. I hope he realizes that I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do anyway.

The recent slowdown at the shop has me worried. I will probably be able to make it through this month's bills, but I am not sure about next month's without some kind of a miracle. Last year was our first year and we did better then than now. I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out why, but I come up empty. I know the economy, the fact that it is summer and school is out, and the oil spill all play a part in the down turn. How can I mitigate these? I have also noticed that several of my regulars are not so regular anymore and that worries me. Perhaps I need to do some kind of promotion to bring them back.

Speaking of promotion, I read somewhere recently that users want social media to engage them, not just inform them. I use the shop facebook page to announce things and those things get posted on my fans' walls. I am a fan of Community Coffee, and they post to my feed almost every day. Sometimes it's promotions like free shipping, but often it is trivia or contests. The most recent one I can think of showed the CC tumbler somewhere in the world. The first correct response won a gift basket. I haven't participated in the contests, but I feel engaged. Same with the Wine Searcher. He's always asking questions. He'll post about a certain type of wine and then ask if we taste the same things, or what was the weirdest flavor we've tasted in a wine. Tons of people respond. I never get any responses to the shop posts.

So I've been thinking. Maybe I can start playing a little game. I'll take a picture of me knitting every Monday somewhere in the Pensacola area and have people guess where I am. All correct responses will be entered in a drawing for a few dollars off their next purchase. I can also send out posts about the different yarns and seek opinions on good projects for those yarns. That would use the two examples I gave above that I like, but adapted to my business. This may increase interest in the brand, as well as help develop the sense of community that I want to have among my customers.

This has been a long post, and quite cathartic. Sometimes it is scary to see my thoughts as words. I feel that much more accountable. But Seth's 16 questions really got me thinking, and I appreciated the exercise. It is nice to give organization to the jumble of thoughts in my head. Thanks for sticking with me!